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Trailer Friday: Vampires and Aliens

 



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Posted May 24, 2012 by

Well, you lucky boys and girls, today we can show you two brand-spanking new trailers! One of them is crap, and the other one is crap! But you’ll probably end up seeing them anyway, because separately they are about an important American figure killing Vampires and potty-mouthed comedians stroking old women’s faces and humping aliens, but combine the two and it becomes Abraham Lincoln: Watching Vampire Hunters which is about Abe being potty-mouthed and stroking old vampire women’s faces while humping an alien.

Shit, why aren’t we in the scriptwriting business? Hollywood would EAT THAT UP.

So here’s the first – an apparently NSFW red-band trailer, which is pretty much a green-band trailer as far as we’re aware. No naughty words or particularly gratuitous violence. But then again, videogames have desensitised us all:

Then there’s the one with failing actor/comedians (with the exception of Richard Ayaode or however you spell his name – what the fuck is his agent doing?) doing some unfunny shit with an alien that looks like it’s out of the props room at my local amdram society:

But hey, they’re going to make Hollywood rich. Again.


Ben Kahan

 
If I were a car, I'd be a 1978 Mini Cooper Saloon - red, with racing stripes. Why? Because I love drinking petrol and I painted two racing stripes from my nutsack to my forehead, right now, to prove my point. I'm a magician, hypnotherapist and casino poker dealer, which is because I'm an actor, and we make very little money and have to make do. Also, just a side note, "hypnotherapist" just came up with red squiggly lines on spellcheck, which shocks me because a) "hypnotherapy" doesn't and b) I consider this spellcheck as a gauge of future success in life and have found myself heartily disappointed. Ironically, this spellcheck doesn't recognise "spellcheck". This has just created a black hole on the screen on my laptop, so I'll be going now to find something to fill it.